My Sad World

October 15, 2008

This song has a meaning in my life

Filed under: Articles Written by me

Film : Jannat
Song Title : Jara Sa

Jara Sa
Jara Sa Dil Main dae Jagah tuu,
Jara Sa Apna Lay Banaa
Jara Sa Khwoboo Main Saja Tu
Jara Sa Yadoon Main Basaa

Main chahuu tujko Meri Ja Baypanah
Fida Hu Tujpay Meri Ja Baypanah

Kyon Itna Mujse Hay Khafa Tu
Kya Tere Dil Main hain Bataaa
Kyon Itna Mujse Hay Judaa tu
Kee Mainey Aisi Kya Khataa………

I just need to know.. Ki maine Aisi Kya Khata ????????????????????

October 14, 2008

HINT ME A SIGN

Filed under: Articles Written by me

And the thoughts go crazy
the feelings blue
never again will there be
A glimpse of you.

Had I tried harder
were you there any longer
if only i’d understood better
would you still have been there?

the sun hides behind the cloud
and the wind heaves
flowers bloom no more
and the trees have shed their leaves
nature teases me
camouflaging the bare soul
asking, trying to be set free

i wish upon a shooting star
asking you back
to rid me of the scar
the hole in my heart’s grown big and black
and i’m dying
heal me
only you can save me

the door is ajar
if u must know
and i’m waiting– not so far
with a deserted hope
of some sign you’ll show.

April 7, 2008

I MY LIFE IS AN ILLUSION

Filed under: Articles Written by me

 MY LIFE IS AN ILLUSION

I am living a life that’s full of illusions ! I don’t know why the toughest and the moral guy like me surrendered to the situations. Stuck by the present situation, I don’t know where I should go. Relentlessly and without any hope, I am trying to spend my life on a hope ! Why I am forcing the destiny to change for me when I know it won’t. I have thousands of way but I am stuck on one. I know the person whom I completely trust and love won’t love me at all. Honestly she has decleared her inability to stand by my side.

I know things are gonna be difficult but I never knew that I will suddenly reach a stage of dead end. …………..

I did not gave any happyness to anyone not even to my parents and everyone hates me and I deserve this. May be my death can bring happiness to someone’s life……..I would like to say sorry to all those who have been hurt from my behavior.

March 22, 2008

जुनेली रात

Filed under: Articles Written by me

This is my first attempt to write something in Nepali. You may find lot of grammatical mistakes there, just ignore it and crab the theme of the play only. I am not writing it to hurt anyone or this play does not resemble anyone’s life. This play is totally related with me, my life and my feelings.


 

जुनेली रात

साँझको आठ बजीसकेको थियो! टोंलायर हेरीरहे पूर्णिमा को जूनलाइं !मरभूमिमां म अनि आकाशमा जून ! मात्र हामीदुई ! यही जुनको तारीफ धेरै जानाको मुखबाट सुनीसके को थिए! आख़िर यस्तो केनै छ र  तारीफ गर्न योग्य ? येस्तैयेस्तै बिचार गरी निहारी रहेको थिए जून लाई! जुनेली रातले मनमा उर्जा सिर्जना गछँ भंन्छ्न तर यो उजाड़ मराभुमिमा मलाइँ जूनको उज्यालो पनी बिलिन भईरहेको जस्तो लागिरहेछ! चौबिसै घंटा कंप्यूटर मा बस्दाबस्दा मेरो आंखा पनी धेरै कमजोर भईसकेको थियों त्यसैले आज एक्छीनं जून लाइँ हेर्दै अफ्नो बेचैन मन लाइँ सम्हालने कोसिस गर्दै थिए म ! संसार को सबै मान्छे ले हेनें येही ऍउटै जून! अझ एस्मा एउटा ऐना भैइंदीएको भय कस्तो राम्रो हुन्थ्यो होला ? टांडा रहेका संग भेटन नापाए पनी उनीहरुको आकृति हरदम आंखामा नै रहीरहन्थ्यो ! पलपल त्यों जून भिन्दा भिँदै रूप मा प्रस्तुत हुदै थियों मेरो सामू कुनै जादूगर ले रूप फेरे झै ! झ्लकं हेर्दा एउटा सानो ट्ल्कंने बस्तु लागेको थियो मलाइँ , निहारी रहे र जून मा सबै थोक देखंन थाले! रहस्य नै रहस्य ले भरिएको थियो त्यों जून माथी म भन्दा धेरै माथी र  धेरै टांडा पनी! एक पछि एक रहस्य आफै पहलृयाउदै मानौ आफ़ै कल्पिदै अनि आफ़ै सुल्झाउंदै थिए म!

उ मेरो नजिक आईंन ! के गर्दै गरे को ? त्यतिकै जून लाई हेरीरहेको , कस्तो अचम्म लाग्दो छ है ? बोलेको मात्र के थिए उनले जवाब दींइंन " किन त्यती पनी पडेको  छैन र ? ऍउटा सानो उपग्रह त हो नि, सबै त हामी जस्तो मान्छे ले गयर खोतली सके अनि फेरी पनी के को रहस्य ? त्यस्बेला म जुनमा धेरै ड़ूबीसके को थिए त्यसै ले सोच्दै न सोची कन भने " ठीकै छ नि त , म अनपड़, तिमि पड़ेलेखेको !  यो सुन्न साथ उनी रिसाइन र भनिन् भयो म संग बोल्नु पर्दैन ! मलाई थाहा छ मेरो सानो कुरा ले पनी उसको चित्त चाडै दुखछ र आँखा बाट आंसू त झन भनैँ पर्दैन! उसको नयन बाट आंसू झरि हाल्छ भन्ने डर ले मैले त्यसतो भन्न खोजेको होइन आमु आज बस एकान्त अनुभव गर्न मन लगीराछ ! एक्छीनं अबुज़ भएर प्रक्रितिमा रमाउंदा के भयो र भने ! उता फरकेर उ रिसाईरहींन! म नजीक गए अनि उसको आँखा पड़े अनि त्यसमा छिपेको निस्चलता र म प्रति आगाढ़ प्रेम! सायद धेरै चित्त दुखेछ उसको! उनको छातीमा मैले अफ्नो सिर राखे अनि बिस्तारै माफ़ी पनी मागे तर उ त्यस्बेला रिसाएको नाटक गर्दै थिईन ! एकछिन पछि हात मा हात राखेर हामी दुबै जाना जूनलाइ हेर्दै थियौ! काठमांडूको भीड़भाड़ लाई धेरै टांडा छोड़दै हामीले जुनको प्रकाशलाइँ आत्मसात गर्दै प्रकृति को आँचल ओडेका थियौं ! एक्छीन पछि जून दर्पणमा  परिवर्तन भयो मैले उसको आकृति सजीलै जूनमा देखन थाले भने उनले मेरो पनी! हामी दुबैले हाम्रो आकृति दर्पण रूपी जून मा पायौं………  त्यातिकै मा पछाड़ी बाट आवाज़ आयो " ओ  राजीव  के गरेर जाड़ो मा एक्लै बसीरा,  खाना नखाने ? म झसंग हुन्छु र चारैतीर हेर्छु बस एकान्त … कोई हुदैन त्याहा म संग…उस्लाई चारै तीर खोजने प्रयास गर्छु तर कोई हुदैन त्याहा ! न चाहदा नाचाहदै पनी अनायास मा आंसू आईदिन्छ….आँखा को आंसू लाइँ अफ्नो रूममेट बाट लुकाउँने असमर्थक प्रयास गर्दै बिश्तारै अफ्नो रूम तीर जान्छु…………………………………..

January 28, 2008

The omnipotent Administrator

Filed under: LEARN ADVANCED COMPUTER TRICKS

The omnipotent Administrator

When you use Windows XP, you belong to one of two groups: Administrators or Users. Administrators are all-powerful: if you have a so-called Admin account, you can make systemwide changes and change other users’ accounts. While this power is a boon to the ego, it’s also dangerous. If, for example, you encounter a virus, a Trojan horse, or a worm while you’re logged on as Administrator, you could wreck all the accounts on your entire system. Log in as User, on the other hand, and any damage you cause will be less extensive, because ordinary users are prevented from making systemwide changes. A word to the wise: Do your everyday computing as a regular user and log on as Administrator only when it’s absolutely necessary, such as when adding a new user or changing security settings. To sign on as User, use the Run As command: just right-click a shortcut and select Run As. As long as you know the username and password, you can sign on as another user.

Install Windows Media Player 11 without Validation

Filed under: LEARN ADVANCED COMPUTER TRICKS

Install Windows Media Player 11 without Validation

Recently Microsoft has released the most awaited Windows Media Player, but much to everybody’s surprise even if you want to install this version of Media Player you have to go through a stringent set of processes to pass the Windows Genuine Advantage Validation(WGA), which is much irritating as compared to the joy of using Media Player 11. When I got the download of Window Media Player 11 Beta, I was too excited to get a chance to see the new creation of Mr. Gates. But alas..while installing the media Player on my pirated version of Windows XP (Like most people M also using a pirated version of Windows XP) I faced the brunt of validation. Hamro Nepal Jasto Third World Country ma Sabai lay windows XP ko Genuine verion install garnaa sambhav pani chaina so here is the simple tricks to install it. Any way I had to install Media Player 11 so experiment continued and finally I found the following methods to crack the process of WGA validation and successfully installed Windows Media Player 11 Beta. The best way to get Windows Media Player 11 beta to install, of course, is to get the Windows validated.

However, for whatever reasons, if you still still want to install WMP11, there are workaround ways to bypass and disable the WGA validation check during setup installation process:

1. Download WMP11 from HERE:

2.Download and install WinRAR (http://www.download.com/3000-2250-10007677.html) and install WinRAR extraction tool.

3. Extract the WMP11 installer by using WinRAR to a directory (e.g. wmp11-windowsxp-x86-enu). You can right click on the setup file and choose any Extract option or launch the extraction utility and choose the WMP11 setup file to extract it.

4.Download legitlib.dll (in RAR format) from HERE and extract it.

5.Copy the extracted legitlib.dll and paste legitlib.dll into the extracted directory of WMP11 installer. Overwrite any existing file. 6. Run setup_wm.exe by double clicking.

7.Install Windows Media Player 11 Beta accordingly.

December 15, 2007

SORRY TO ALL MY VISITORS

Filed under: Articles Written by me

जब भी  तनहाईने उनको सताया होगा तब तब उनको मेरा खयाल आया होगा!  गम यह नही की वह भूल गय हमको गम तो यह हैं की हमको भुलाते हुय उनकी आंखोसे कितने आंसू बहा होगा !

SORRY TO ALL MY VISITORS

Welcome to my sad world again.  I would like to thank  all those who had sent their beautiful comments and advice specially , Saroj Adhikari , Bipin Shrestha, Seema Dahal, Suresh Thapa, Anil Thapa, Gunjan Adhikari , Sujata Roy, Sanjay Chopra, Larry Muir, Wilson Dave  and at last but not the least Sushma Shrestha and all those who visited my site. I am extremely sorry to inform you all that I would not be able to write anything about love and faith onwards coz now I realize that Love doesn’t exist! I don’t even trust my own feelings anymore. Everything is over. Someone left me in the middle of no where. I come to a point where I blame myself for what has happened. I cry myself to sleep every night, trying to think of ways to save our relationship. I think she would be much happier without me सायद म नै उसको लायक थिईन …….  What I believe is if we really and truly love someone, their happiness should mean more to us than our own. It’s called selfless love. So many lovers in the world are put to this kind of test. Ask yourself. How much do you really love him? Do you love him enough to allow him to go where he/she is happy, even if it’s no longer with you? Do you love him enough to allow him to be happy without feeling revengeful or bitter? Do you love him enough to let him go?. You can’t control love. You can’t force someone to stay with you, if you know they’re not happy anymore. What you can do is move on.

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It’s not easy, and it will take time. But know this and trust in this, IT WILL GET BETTER. The age old cliché, “Time heals all wounds“, may sound boring and repetitive, but it’s true.

I would like to say sorry to all my well wisher and visitors that I could not continue my pervious story A LOVE THAT FLOWS despite several requests from all of you.Now onwards you can’t find anything related with love and faith in this site but I assure you that you will enjoy visiting my site just like before coz I am gonna write about hate, betrayal and deceive on wards. Enjoy reading each and I hope your story will not end up like mine. Just listen and open your mind for the truth. Never build a wall of pride between you and her.Actually I have decided to remove all my previous post from this site but after having so many mails and request from all of you, I have  finally decided to leave all my previous post as it is.By the way I have included some Hindi sayari in my site coz I am not that good in Nepalese poems and I belive Indian Poems and Sayari has much deeper meaning in comparision to nepalese.Though I am not a sayar but whenever pain strikes u deep down in your heart , it comes out naturally.These sayari really touches my heart.Once again I wouild like to apologize  to those who fell uncomfortable understanding Hindi.

Please write to me directly if there is any suggestions or advice regarding my post. rajiv_sharma23@hotmail.com

The Awakening

Filed under: Articles Written by me

sdfsd

आप तो भूल गय हमको फिर भी हम आप को याद करते हैं, आप का दिया हूवा वो शर्ट सौ बार देखा करते हैं
इतनी बार तो आप साँस भी नही लेती होगी, जितनी बार हम आप को याद किया करते हैं.

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!


Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening…

I awaken to the fact that I am not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what I am … and that’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And I learn the importance of loving and championing myself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

I already stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to me (or didn’t do for, me) जे गर्नु छ आफ़ैले गर्नु छ and I learn that the only thing I can really count on is the unexpected. I learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for me and that it’s not always about me. So, I learn to stand on your own and to take care of myself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.
Then I learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. I also learn not to project my needs or my feelings onto a relationship. I learn that I will not be more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on my arm or the child that bears my name.

I learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as I would have them be. I stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.I learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and I learn that I don’t have the right to demand love on my terms, just to make me happy.

I learn to fight for my life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. I learn that life isn’t always fair,Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side I take a stand, I take a deep breath and I begin to design the life I want to live as best as I can.

November 11, 2007

A love that flows

Filed under: Articles Written by me

working plave


वह हमारे नही तो क्या गम हैं , हम तो उन्ही के हैं ये क्या कम हैं ! ना गम कम हैं न आंसू कम हैं, देखते हैं रुलानेवालो मैं कितना दम हैं !

A love that flows

I have been with her for 3 yrs and a half .Our relationship begins during our college life and we started to date at the age of 23 when we both knew that we love each other despite many obstacles we have gone through…..
She is a caring, lovely and she is my princess I would say. I felt secured as I trusted her but I did’nt take things for granted because she is my dream girl that I still can’t believe to be with and I don’t want to end it with. She brightens my life with her sweet smile everyday especially when I was down just like the ultimate cure for my sadness. I feel so blessed when she comes to my life because she is so perfect to me no matter what people said about her. I trusted her and myself.

She is very emotional, and may cry easily. Each time when she was down or sad she will come to me and I will try my best to comfort her. I can’t stand the pain watching her sad. She tends to be too reliable on me but I don’t mind because I m willing to help her anytime when she needs me. She is at the top priority on my list so I sacrificed anything for her and that everything includes my family, friends and my loving sister coz they all are opposed for our love because we are from a different caste. I did not hide anything from her, not a single thing. She knows what I had in my lunch in the morning and I know what she ate in the dinner. I completely devoted my life to her and shared all the fillings with her. Whenever she faces problem, she comes to me and I used to give her advice. I would not say that all the time what I told her was correct but I tried my best to think and analyze the problem and gave her the best solutions. I m glad because each time she felt relieved after listening to me .

We have sweet, lovely and happy moment together including the sad one. We been through many things together and did many things we both did for the 1st time. The moment was so sweet that it will be in my heart forever. I never ever doubt her love for me because I can feel it truly from my heart. She did many sweet things for me and so did I. We celebrated each other birthday, valentines, Christmas, New Year and our anniversary. Although this seems to be routine live but I don’t mind this going forever. She once told me that she doesn’t mind either as long as she is with me all the while. She told me that she hope we can still hold hands walking together until old like grandfather and grandmother.

We did many things together. We ride on the bike at the reserves park for the whole day, we been to so many temples and walks on the road holding each other hand (almost 3 hours without tired) and with out any fear coz we both know that no one can separate us. Sometimes I purposely said some sweet things to make her cry. Yeah I know I am naughty but that was just a part of my true love.

I came to Saudi for the job a year’s ago. I was so into drugs that time and I do not want my addiction to be her obstacle so i decided to leave her for a short period of time. She does not know about this but before I came here I told her everything. I could not hide anything from her even if I wanted too and I don’t know why.  In my mind that time was to earn money and to build our future. I don’t mind spending all the money I earned on her as long as she is happy but she usually wont allowed me to do so because she want me to keep the money for myself after all my hard work. Before the night I left, we have dinner together. The feeling was so weird that night because we will not be seeing each other for a long time and I cannot imagine the time she is not with me. Before she left I asked her whether she has the money for the vehicles or not. She just nodded lightly and I gave her 100 RS for the taxi fare. We were in a Maitidevi Temple at that time and she says she will take taxi from Maitidevi Junction. That day she looks so sad. Though she was not crying but I can see the pain and the tears in her eyes. It was so hard to tell.

After I came here, the only way we communicated was through the chatting and phone calls. For the past 1years we chatted about everything including her breakfast, where she went that day, jokes and all the silly things. She kept telling me she miss me and love me all the while and sometimes she cried when I call her in the evening. I again try my best to comfort her although I can’t give her my hug when she needed most. I felt so sorry and sometime it makes my tears run down too. I read her old letter which is still fresh with me in my suitcase. One day in the evening over the phone, she told me that she still has that 100 rupee note which I have given that day. That day she went to her home by foot which is almost 5 kilometer long just to save that money. I was so happy that time and that day I cried like a child and could not sleep whole night.
Due to distance problem and time difference, our conversation is getting less and lesser. We tend to have little to talks about other then how are you today? Taken your meal? She was busy with her studies too and I was sad actually but in my mind I kept telling myself that its not forever. Sometimes I encountered problems that I wish I could share with her but she just too busy. So I took the shortcut by just asking her this question “do you loves me?” just to make myself comfortable that someone is still there for you, be tough and endured it. Yes I got the answer that I want right away each time. It was just a way to comfort myself when she was not around. Who don’t miss their loves one especially been together for so long. She might be facing problems far worse then me being alone.

To be continued …….

November 5, 2007

When tomorrow starts without me

Filed under: Articles Written by me


कोई न मिला जिसपे दुनिया लुटा देते , सब ने दिया धोका किस किस को भुला देते, दिल का दर्द दिल मैं दबाये रखा , बयां किया होता तो महफिल को रुला देते !

At Tika with my sister

One of the happiest moment in my life with my sister…

When tomorrow starts without me


When tomorrow starts without me,
And I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
May be filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
Coz I can’t see tears in your eyes,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me

Please try to understand ,it,s time for me to go

I love you, I have loved and will always love you 

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It almost seemed impossible
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I’d say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here, in your heart.

November 3, 2007

A little background

Filed under: Articles Written by me

American Oil Company


जिसने हमे चाहा उसे चाह ना सके , जिसे चाहते हैं उसे पानासके , यह समझा कि दिल टूटने का खेल था किसी का दिल हमने तोडा और अपना भी बचा नासके !

A little background

Well one of the reasons can be attributed to the fact that I don’t intend people who know me in real life actually read these. I didn’t think there is anyone with whom I can share what I’m writing here. There is no one I can talk to about the things I’ve experienced. The happiness I have received, the pain I’ve gone through. There is no one to whom I can say that right now the person I love the most is miles away from me  awake,depressed, in tears,in pain. And there is nothing I can do about it because thats the way it had been last ten days and every time I try talk to her I end up making her and making myself more miserable. Love its a blessing, it gives you the most beautiful moments of your life, its reason of being alive. And yet its a curse it leaves you with scars that won’t heal in a lifetime. This post is to give a brief idea about my background, about my life and about hers. I am a twenty six year old guy, born and brought up in a small town of Nepal called Hetauda. I am ambitious, hard working and perhaps a bit more intelligent than average. I just completed my undergraduate study in Commerce  from one of the premier Nepalese institute.She is a twenthy three year old girl, beautiful, pretty with a great personality and social skills, intelligent and sensible. In short she is everything I could wish for in a person I want to spend my life with. We met three years back  and fell in love. This blog is about what happened in these three years and whats happening now. As I keep posting the blogs will get a bit sad and depressing. So if you are someone who has just fallen in love,you won’t like it. But then maybe you can learn something from my experiences. I am not writing this for any sympathy, I don’t expect any advice (if you want to give one you can ) I just want to be listened. I hope people come by, read them and leave behind their thoughts. Thanks to those few who had been reading or who had stumbled by. I hope you come back again

October 28, 2007

Strange Bound

Filed under: Articles Written by me

asfdas


दिल के कोने से एक आवाज़ आती हैं , हमे हर पल आपकी याद आती हैं, दिल पूछता हैं हमसे बार बार " जिन्हें याद करते हो, क्या उन्हें भी तुम्हारी याद आती हैं ??? और हमारे पास कोई जवाब नही होता !!!

STRANGE BOND

The miles that lie between us will soon disappear, and we will have each other always.. The fact that we’re a thousand miles apart is not a matter at all because you are always in my heart.Right now, I living so far away from you and it’s  killing me, but I know in my heart that I am doing  the right thing and you also knew why I am doing this.I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. My love for you is unconditional. The love for you is so strong and the most powerful feeling that I have had in a long time and I am just at a lost for words when it comes to you.

I am waiting for the days to make our dreams come true. I’ll wait for you for a lifetime if you want me to. Do you know why? Because you are the only one who sees me while I am invisible to others. I hope you never quit seeing how much my love for you is true.We had our moments when we dreamt together of our future and then the moments when we argued over the core basis on which our relationship stood. Is it really possible for two persons to agree on every little  thing of life ? Does being in love is about having the same point of view for every aspect of life ? I have so many questions and yet I still have faith in my relationship. I still believe that there is always a better day to live for and that we will get over this phrase of your life. I know why you are not calling now a days. I can understand.


When I wake up in the morning, I have two simple choices only.Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. Well I am chasing my dreams and that is you.


At last but not the least , "HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMU" I love you, I have loved you and I will always love you.

I will not let our love die through the distance nor will let the faith fall away. 

SEND ME COMMENTS:-

October 9, 2007

QUOTE

Filed under: Articles Written by me

asdasd


QUOTATION

वक्त के इस मोड पर यें कैसा वक्त आया है, ज़ख्म इस दिल  का जुबान पे आया हैं, नही रोते थे हम काटों की  चुभन से , पर आज फूल की चुभन ने हमे रुलाया हैं !

याद मैं तेरे आहे भरता हैं कोई , हर साँस के साथ तुझे याद करता हैं कोई , मौत सचाई हैं एक रोज़ आना हैं
लेकिन तेरी जुदाई मैं हर रोज़ मरता हैं कोई !

रात के अंधेरे मैं सारा जहाँ सोता हैं, लेकिन किसी की याद मैं एक दिल रोता हैं, खुदा करे के किसी पर कोई फ़िदा ना हो ,अगर हो तो मौत से पहेले जुदा ना हो !

"Just wait for someone who will let his arm fall asleep just because you look too cute to move"

"Never leave the one you love for the one you like coz one day the one you like will leave  you for the one they love"

"There is always some madness in love. But there is always some reason in madness"

"Just because you love someone does not mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds"

"Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down"

"If love is blind then I am blind indeed Because it’s imperfections I can’t see. If love is hope then I hope always To be that memory that never fades. If love is heartbreak then I’m willing for you I could make the world stop spinning because I LOVE YOU"


"Someone somewhere dreams of your smile and while thinking of you. Thinks that life is worth while So whenever you’re lonely remember it’s true Someone somewhere Is thinking of you"


"Love is when you miss him/her even before he/her leaves when you could listen to him/her talk all night and never get tired of hearing his/her voice when the sound of his/her name sends chills down your spine and you see his/her smile the second you close your eyes"

"One day a boy gave his girl 12 roses 11 real and one fake and he said to her I love you until the last rose dies"

"Its quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness…" 

"If someone would ask me who I want to be with? I would simply say…Someone who is not strong enough…Not strong enough to let me go…"

 "Dont marry the person you want to live with… Always marry the one you cannot live without…  The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality…(U) "

" When you love someone , you are giving them power to hurt you"

MY Destiny lies in her arms

Filed under: Articles Written by me

 


awsd


ना जाने क्यों हमे आसू  बहाना नही आता…
ना जाने  क्यों हाले दिल  बताना नही आता…
क्यों साथी बिछ्ड जाते है हमेशा
शायद हमे ही साथ निभाना नही आता !

MY DESTINY LIES IN HER ARMS

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind.She hated everyone except her loving boyfriend.He was always there for her.She said that if she could only see the world,she would marry her boyfriend.

One day someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything including her boyfriend.Her boyfriend asked her"now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears and later wrote a letter to her saying " JUST TAKE CARE OF MY EYES PLEASE"

This is how human change when their status changes.Only few remember what life was before, and who has always been there in the most painful situations.

I created this website just for her coz I love her so much but now a days she is angry with me.I know she loves me more than anything.I just wanna tell her that the reason why it is always the one you love that hurt you is because if you did not love them, you would not care. Finally I wanna say Amu please have patience we will be together against all odds.

अगर मोहब्बत मेरी संची हैं तो एकदिन जरुर मिला देगी , अगर जिद मेरी पक्की हैं तो आस्मान को भी हिला देगी, ना इंकार कर सकता हैं कोई मेरी बफा से मुझे यकीं हैं , पर तुम संभालना एकदिन मेरी बफा सायद तुम्हे रुला देगी ! 

October 7, 2007

Living on a prayer

Filed under: Articles Written by me


 

memories

ठुकरा के उसने मुज्से कहा कि मुस्कुरावो, मैं बस हस दिया , आख़िर सवाल उसकी खुसी का था, मैंने खोया वह जो मेरा था ही नही , उसने खोया वह जो उसी का था !

LIVING ON A PRAYER

This is a true story of mine. The tears that flow from the pages of this site are real and come out of extreme disappointment.  The tragedies you will read about were heart wrenching and life changing for me, and continue to impact my individual live.  Perhaps these emotional and spiritual scars will be transformed into bright and shining stars that will shed light for the person who is walking in the dark drug-infested world.

It is my opinion, based upon experience, that the drug addict who is reared in a good, solid home where strong morals and self-respect are instilled, will not only betray the people that love and care for him, but will also violate his own conscience.  He will be disloyal to all that he knows to be true, just, pure, good, and lovely.

There’s no other way to say this: My life sucked. I felt as if our family problems were all my fault. Then, when I was about 19, one of my friends thought it would be fun to watch me try pot. That’s When I found out about drugs. By the time I was 21, I was starting on Quaaludes. I would take anything that would make me feel better. I was running away from it all, and as long as I was drunk or high, I thought I was OK; I was still getting high and drunk. I started using crack in my 20s. That is he most hideous drug I’ve ever encountered. It just consumed me; I couldn’t stop. I was a mess from decades of abuse. But after someone came in to my life I made the change from being a victim to being a survivor. You know, when you’re a victim, you’re not in charge. You can blame everything on someone else, but ultimately you’re responsible for your choices. 

Her love gave me enough courage to give up drugs and I did not use it for a long time. But the hardest thing in my life even harder than getting sober — was rebuilding my relationship with my Parents, gaining their trust.

I’m the type of person who would try anything. I started drinking when I was 17, and by18, I was doing pot, cocaine and Ecstasy. I always kept my feelings inside until I was ready to burst, and then I’d turn to drugs. If I was mad, I’d go get high. If I was depressed, I’d go get high. Somehow, I began to see drugs as a way to keep myself going. Eventually I got hooked on heroin. I seemed to have a normal life, though. I had a job doing office work [with] computers. What no one knew was that I’d have to do bags of dope just to force myself to get out of bed. And I thought, "My God, I’ve got to get off this." I really tried. But I was too afraid of withdrawal. It’s like having the flu times 100. You’ve got pain in your back, in your legs, all over. I just wanted to stop feeling so bad. I ended up doing both crack and heroin. I was spending Rs 800 a week on drugs. My drug dealer would say, "Buy me a VCR and I’ll give you something." So I’d take my dealer shopping.

I was caught with Nitro sun and was arrested. My family had no idea I had been using drugs until they saw me in handcuffs. I mean, they had noticed I was losing weight, but I always told them I had the flu. Who wants to think their little baby is doing this? My father used to be a Government official, and to him, drugs are a really horrible thing. But they always turned their backs on me. It was very confusing. I was frustrated and angry with myself.

Now I am in Saudi Arabia. It was all my decision to come and work here and I am feeling much better now. After I arrived in this country I could not sleep for 2 months. My body could not bear the chilled from the air condition and my mind was dreaming about drugs but unfortunately you can’t get anything because it is the world’s toughest country in terms of drugs. I spend almost 2 months outside my room. I used to sleep in a bus which uis parking outside my romm.Now It feels like new birth .I still think about drugs, but I have to be stronger. I learned that you can do things sober and still have fun, such as going dancing or eating out. I spent 80% of my time in computer. I never thought I’d be able to get this far. I figured I’d be on drugs the rest of my life. I feel good now; I’m proud of myself. One of my friends told me that my story was inspiring. I felt so good that day. I felt as if I had finally accomplished something.

September 30, 2007

An angle

Filed under: Articles Written by me

Baudha

भुला कर हमें वो खुस रेह पायगी,साथ मैं नही तो मेरे जाने के बाद मुस्कुरायेगी, दुआ हैं खुदा से की उसे कभी दर्द ना देना,हम तो सेह गय पर वो टूट जायगी !

 

AN ANGEL


I grew up with the added feelings of being very unwanted. I never had a good relationship with my parents and I don’t know why. I lived in a house that wasn’t a home. I grew up feeling very rejected and alone. I don’t want to blame anyone for this.


I knew the basic rule that I must love myself before anyone else would love me, but I knew that I could never love myself. With all my education and studying, I still ended up in a drug and it’s too stupid. In addition to any other horrible objectives I could throw at myself. So I hide myself even further. I always spend time with my freaky friends. We always involved ourselves in a rowdy kind of things. I went 3 times in police custody in various charges for involving in a rowdy act; it was until I met her in Katmandu. She struck me as something nice. We literally spend almost all of our time together and while she has occasional disagreements, I always apologize. We are a normal couple after all! She really the most incredible girl I have ever known. That was nearly a year ago. Now I am in Saudi Arabia working in a private company and I am still totally in-love as she is with me.

We always share every feeling just like husband and wife. I never felt this close with anyone before. I will not say that I cannot live without her because I am living without her right now. Our bond was easy to explain, but hard to describe. She may be thinking that I left her for money but no one knows the reality. I am here in the foreign land living just with her memory coz I want to quite my drug addiction. Her future will be spoiled if I decided to stay there so I am working here hard day and night, slogging my body and mind because I do not want my addiction to be her obstacle. Therefore, I have chosen to leave her for a short period of time. Here in the foreign land, my only comfort is to listen to her voice over the phone.

An angel won’t stay long time beside us, but we can still feel their goodness and presence through the positive influence they have left behind, within us - for it still uplifts our heart, no matter what happens or how much time has gone past… that is how we know the Angels in our lives, that is how I know She is still my Angel.”

This is my story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.

Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us.

Please do not post any comments, if you really gotta say something to me then you better mail me directly at : rajiv_sharma23@hotmail.com






















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